Entering his third season with FC Cincinnati, midfielder Corben Bone will once again offer glimpses behind the scenes into the life of a professional player in his own personal blog, Corben's Corner. Check back regularly as Corben provides insight into what it's like to compete on the field... and live off of it.
I have seemingly always been “the soccer player.” Close to 15 years ago my name, Corben Bone, became equal to that title as if I was no longer able to be anything different.
If I was introduced at a party, to my girlfriends’ parents, or any stranger, my name was conveniently followed by, “he’s the soccer player, or lately, “he plays for FC Cincinnati.”
Now, I knew and still know that there is no underlying meaning in their dictation. In fact, they are most likely just being nice, or informational or even complimentary. But for some reason, to me, that meant that everything else in life was off limits.
I would forever be stuck inside the white lines of “soccer talk,” destined to be explaining offsides forever.
I know this is dramatic. Just because someone asks me about soccer, or introduces me and states my occupation, doesn’t mean they don’t think I care about anything else. They are just making conversation, but somehow, adding up all those introductions and conversations equate to my identity as a person. I am, “the soccer player.”
As long as this identity has been forming, I have embraced it, and it is without a doubt the best job I’ve ever had. To be honest, it is the only job I’ve ever had. So I can’t argue or be mad about this dilemma.
And somehow through playing this game as my occupation - which is quite a luxury - my life became a linear path on which my identity dutifully followed.
However, lately more than ever, I have been searching for something different to identify with. Maybe yearning is a better word. Could it be because I’ll be 30 this year?
Maybe it’s because after 10 years of professional soccer the realization that this doesn’t last forever is finally seeping into my mind, and as the jersey comes off what happens to my identity?
And then things changed. My identity abruptly transferred into something that I’ll inherently remain loyal to for the rest of my life.
I became a father on September 9th, 2017 at 8:51 am, and all of a sudden “the soccer player” became “Brooks’ dad.”
The divergent identity that I had been seeking fell into my lap, literally.
After only three months of experience I can’t tell you the complete responsibilities or feelings of being a father, but so far, I am convinced that having a child is a miracle.
It is an unfathomable joy being able to hold the gift of life in your hands.
I am humbled by the strength of my wife, Annie, and for all mothers, and I am so grateful to feel the amount of love in my heart that I have for our child.
I have a new identity to embrace, and while I don’t plan on leaving soccer anytime soon, I feel a change in the way I view myself.
In my eyes I am no longer limited to the beauty of soccer, my identity has expanded into the beauty of life.
Soccer is a passion that will continue to burn inside of me.
When the ball is at my feet, life seems to have a certain flow that exists outside of the “real world” and if accepting the identity of a soccer player meant I got to experience that, then I happily agreed.
However, becoming a father has brought me back to earth, if you will.
I am grounded by the emotions and the overwhelmingly selfless desire it takes to be a parent.
I am still a soccer player, but when I look in the mirror, I am proudly Brooks’ Dad.
